I Saw the Captain Crying
by Singing Violin
Summary: Four men of Voyager discuss Janeway's emotional display at the end of Resistance.


Title: I Saw the Captain Crying  
Series: Star Trek: Voyager  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: Four men of Voyager discuss Janeway's emotional display at the end of "Resistance."  
Disclaimer: TPTB own them, but they didn't do what I wanted with them, so I'm borrowing them for a bit. I'll give them back when I'm done.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

Vulcan ears were acute, and as Tuvok sat in the corner of the Mess Hall, he overheard a most disturbing conversation.

"Harry, I didn't think she'd leave. That man was dead, and she was hunched over his body even though she knew we had only a few minutes to escape. She was crying, Harry. And what's more, she was dressed like a…" he lowered his voice, but not enough to prevent the Vulcan ears from picking up the signal, "like a whore."

Harry looked askance at Tom. "Okay, now I know you're pulling my leg," he said. "The captain doesn't cry. At least, not in front of anyone."

"I'm telling you, Harry, she was crying. I put my hands on her shoulders…you know, to sort of remind her that we should be going…and I felt her shoulders shake. I felt like a voyeur, Harry."

"As well you should have," interrupted Chakotay, sitting down at the table next to them, his glance stern. "You really shouldn't be talking about the captain like that," he chided. "She is human, you know."

Distracting from his momentarily guilt, this last comment piqued Harry's curiosity. He looked up at the commander, but it was Tom who asked the question he was thinking. "Have you ever seen her cry, Commander?" Tom asked.

Chakotay looked at Tom disapprovingly. "That's none of your business, Tom, but if you must know, no I haven't." A pang of jealousy went through him, thinking of Paris comforting Captain Janeway. The emotion surprised him slightly, as he hadn't much thought about his growing attraction towards the captain, and he realized he was going to have to deal with those emotions at some point in the future. For now, he defended her as best he could. "But she must have had a good reason."

Tuvok had had enough. He came to the table and sat next to Chakotay. "That she did. I am sure of it."

Now all three humans' gazes were affixed upon the dark, pointy-eared countenance. That face was impassive, but someone who knew him well would see the slightest hint of disapproval in his cocked eyebrow. "I overheard what she said to him before he died. She said his wife was well, and that they both forgave him. For what, I do not know. But the captain seemed to be playing the part of his daughter."

Tom sighed with relief. "The way she was dressed, I was afraid of something else."

Now Chakotay gave him an angry glare. "Don't you ever imply something like that, Mister Paris." Even as he spoke, he realized he really was going to have to deal with these proprietary feelings he was having towards the captain, and soon. But not now.

Tom was silent. This time, it was Harry who voiced what they were all thinking. "Do you suppose she's okay?"

Tom's mouth turned up slightly. "I dare you to ask her."

At that moment, senior officers were called to the bridge, and the conversation was ended by default.

Minutes later, Harry found himself in the ready room, briefing the captain. Her distraction did, in fact, worry him, and he decided, whimsically, to take Tom up on his dare.

When he returned to the bridge, he whispered to Paris, who was sitting at the helm, "She says she's fine."

Tuvok gave no indication that he had overheard, other than a raised eyebrow. Chakotay gave the young men a withering stare, warning them not to continue their conversation. Harry returned to his post.

Chakotay knew enough not to believe a word of it when the captain said she was fine. After a few minutes, he made the pretense of having a report to deliver, and gave Tuvok the bridge.

"Come," said the captain, quietly, after the door chimed. Her voice sounded strange and distant. Chakotay walked in and delivered his report, but as Harry before him, was not favored with the captain's attention as he did so. As he spoke, he studied the captain's demeanor. She was definitely not "fine."

Suddenly, he put down the PADD and stepped around to her side of her desk, noticing the beaded necklace on the table. He picked it up, and she was visibly startled. For a moment, Chakotay thought she would snatch it back from him, but instead, she just watched him as he fingered it.

He was going to ask her to tell him about it, but she anticipated the request, and began to tell him what had happened down on that planet. Of course, it was going to be in her report, but a story like that needed to be told in person to be appreciated. Furthermore, Chakotay knew that talking about it would help her to put it behind her and move on, and presumably she knew that too. In a way, he was glad this ship didn't have an official counselor; this way, she could talk to a friend – to him - and not feel like she was required to do so for the sake of therapy.

When she got to the part when Caylem died, he could see that she was still emotionally raw over the experience. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and she covered his hand with her own and graced him with an appreciative smile.

"You don't have to continue," Chakotay said. "I know the rest."

She was surprised, enough to distract her from reliving the distress of that moment. "How's that?" she asked.

He looked down guiltily. "Tuvok overheard you. And Tom was worried about you."

She narrowed her eyes, withdrawing her hand from his and placing it on her desk. He withdrew his from her shoulder, anticipating her anger. "Just how much gossip has been fueled by this incident, Chakotay?" she asked, warily, remembering how Tom had put his hands on her shoulders, and how she'd been too preoccupied with the dear old man to worry about appearances for a moment as she told Tom she'd be right there.

"As far as I know, just Tom, Tuvok, and I know. Oh, and Harry."

"Harry?!" she exclaimed. Then, something dawned on her. "No wonder he asked me how I was…I thought that was odd."

Chakotay cleared his throat, putting his hands behind his back. "I'll make sure it doesn't go any further, Captain."

"See that you do, Commander," she said. Then she smiled at him. "Thank you, Chakotay, for listening. I really do feel better now."

He smiled back at her. "My ear is here for you anytime, Captain," he stated honestly. _My ear, my shoulder, and my heart_, he thought. _And someday I might even have the courage to tell you that. But not today._

With that, he turned and exited the ready room, and glanced reassuringly at all three of the worried faces – well, two worried faces and an impassive Vulcan gaze – which were affixed upon him as he reentered the bridge. The message had been passed. The captain was okay, and they would not speak of this incident again.


End file.
